How Girls Really Feel After A One Night Stand

In the words of R Kelly, ‘I don’t see nothing wrong with a little bump and grind.’But being a modern woman of the world, I do see something glaringly wrong with the idea that the female of the species turns deadly on the male after a one night stand; aka the bunny gets boiled, she’s waiting for you to put a ring on it and within 8 hours of meeting you are suddenly embroiled in a complicated relationship on the book of faces.

It’s a common fact that sex means more to a woman; perhaps this stems down to us having something put inside of us, and even though it is just a penis to you men, us ladies can often mistake is an erect olive branch to a meaningful relationship. But that doesn’t mean we are all playing a game of Hook A Fuck in hope of an everlasting love from a naked game of Twister.

I can count the amount of people I have duked on one hand, and out of that magic number only 3 have been one night stands, with only one being someone I didn’t know through friends. I’m not the type of girl to lay back and think of England for just any bloke, but on the rare occasions that I have I ended up wanting to see if anything else was there, but not in a Kim Kardashian ‘let’s make a porno then get hitched for a few days’ way.

After my one nighters ‘I felt hung over, awkward, cold due to the nakedness and craving a cup of tea with a cuddle. I wasn’t expecting us to have a shower together, read the morning paper and kick leaves in Hyde Park while ‘Dreamweaver’ played in the background, but not being next to me in the bed when I wake up is a huge slap in the face, and not in a Rihanna S ‘n’ M kind of way.

My attitude to one nighters’ could be compared to a frantic spending spree spread over a longer period of time; you always try before you buy, and what’s the difference in slipping into a pair of jeans and having someone’s balls slapping against your arse? I say not a lot, therefore if the sex is good then of course the girl is going to try and keep in contact with you, and if banter, friendship and the rest slot into place as easily as the train entered the station then that’s a lot of awkwardness out of the way.

The dirtiest little secret that no one wants you to know is that women want sex just as much as men do, but while the blood rushes to your member’s head it rushes to her heart, and soon dreams of a Russell Brand & Katy Perry-esque whirlwind romance feel like a teenage dream coming true for her. So the next time you have one leg over and the other creeping out the door, remember that she is probably feeling ten times more sensitive than the tip of your cock, and just because your 3^rd leg has fucked her over doesn’t mean you have to as well.